Fatal Tendency
by Craniopagus
Summary: Pain, death, and then bliss; I always found that those words flowed in perfect harmony. No one cares about me. No one will miss me. The cliff’s edge down at La Push is where my nightmare will finally end; where solace will be uncovered. AH, AU, OOC. R&R!
1. 1 It's Over

**This is my second fan fiction and I decided something with suicide was the way to go. **

**I hope you enjoy. Updates will be coming soon!**

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**Summary:**

Pain, death, and then bliss; I always found that those words flowed in perfect harmony. No one cares about me. No one will miss me. The cliff's edge down at La Push is where my nightmare will finally end; where solace will be uncovered.

Warning: OOC, AH, AU.

BPOV

I was at the edge. Any time I moved even the slightest of a step small pebbles would fall to the violent water below. The mid-summer wind blew my brown wavy hair this way and that.

Moving my line of vision from the salty sea to the horizon I could tell that the sun was starting to peak over the edge of the water. The sky was turning from dark blue to a purple at an alarming rate.

I knew that if I didn't do this soon, I would never have the chance to do it again. I hated my life. I was never pretty but not ugly and didn't have an award for my personality in my future.

Truth be told; I didn't have anything in my future.

The nothing that I wanted to step into seemed so much better than the life I was living. My father Charlie always looked at me with a pained expression and seemed to avoid me. Not that it was my fault; I reminded him of my mother.

My mom Renee had gotten a divorce with my father 2 years ago. It ripped him apart. I was living with my mother until she found a new man, Phil. The moment I saw how she looked at him, I knew I no longer had a place. I knew she loved me but that still didn't mean she wanted me.

I had no other family that I knew of. I was mostly sheltered. The only person I hung out with was Alice Brandon before the vicious rumor that I had been sleeping with her boyfriend at the time went around. Lauren was just jealous that Alice had the most popular boyfriend in the school. What hurt the most is that Alice actually took the absurd rumor into consideration.

Like I would ever even sleep with anyone. Most people had a brain and ignored the constant lies spewing from the envious teen's mouth. It really stung.

I had been having an odd day and things seemed a bit off. Alice agreed when I mentioned it that morning. So when she asked me about it, I yelled at her.

And that was the end of that.

I looked down to the water again. The water seemed to become more brutal as the morning continued on. I wondered how much it would hurt to feel my bones breaking underneath me. How long it would take me to die? Who would be the unlucky fellow to find me? How long it would I be rotting in the ice cold water? Would I be taken out to sea? How much would I bleed? Will my eyes be open or closed?

My thoughts trailed off as the sun started to arrive into the now Trix yogurt colored sky.

I still had found hope and strength with all the bad that had happened. What pushed me to the breaking point was Jacob.

Jacob. Oh, Jacob. You tear me limb from limb. I saw him as a friend; a best friend. We spent so much time in his garage after The Rumor; or so I liked to call it.

He would work on numerous cars to get a little cash and I would sit there and talk to him. It was always pleasant and Jake always knew how to make me laugh.

But with my amazing luck; he didn't see me as just a friend. He told me he was in love with me.

Love.

It was just something I couldn't comprehend. I had friends; nothing more.

Telling him I didn't feel the same way shocked him at first. Then he became angry. He shouted and threw tools this way and that. He was relentless. No amount of talking was going to stop him from expressing the pain he had felt.

Only when a wrench connected with my left arm did he stop. But the damage was already done. I didn't think it was possible to lose both of your friends in the span of one month, but it sure was.

Now I felt like I had to do this. It had been a month since the last string was cut. Without any strings left there was nothing to live for. Just more pain and suffering.

No one would miss me. None of the ones I cared about were likely to find me. I felt like I was doing other people some sort of good. And if I was helping another; it was all the much more worth it.

I was going to jump. Not step or dive; jump. I was going to bend my now stiff knees and jump from the edge where pebbles fell from my movements. I was going to sin. And it somewhat surprised me that I didn't care. I felt numb. No real expression. That was drained from me long ago.

I was not going to cut my wrists in a tub of water; I was going to jump.

With Charlie in California to go through some more police training and no friends it was the perfect time. The moment couldn't possibly get better than this.

What I would hope to be my last breath came in and filled my lungs to their fullest. The sun was now halfway up and shone fiercely into my squinting eyes. My feet shuffled a little farther to the edge. More pebbles escaped to the raging waters below. Now I was going to jump.

Death.

It was almost like a dream; something that couldn't be so close. It was nice to be face to face with mine. I felt like I was about to be crowned queen of England.

A shiver rose through my fragile spine as I bent my knees.

With a quick breath I jumped.

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	2. Chapter 2 Through The Mist

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_A shiver rose through my fragile spine as I bent my knees. _

_With a quick breath I jumped. _

BPOV

A loud shriek flowed from my mouth as I felt something pull at my hips. My eyes were trained on the crashing waves that I was now being violently pulled away from. As I was being pulled away from the death I so truly wanted, time seemed to slow down. Unfortunately so did I. My body wouldn't move as fast as I wanted; I needed.

My death I worked for was being taken away from me. How could someone be so cruel?

Time changed from slow motion to real time in a flash. I crashed into the chest of the person who had grabbed me. Their arms were now encircling my waist and holding me tight.

I knew that I was still falling; just not in the direction I wanted to. Screams were still flowing from my then pale lips and into the air.

It took less time that I thought to land on the ground. My momentum made us hit the ground hard and most likely knocked the wind out of the person with their arms around me. I must have been in shock because I didn't move when we had finished falling. I didn't move as the person beneath me shifted and stood; arms still around me. I didn't move as I was lifted bridal style in strange arms.

What made me shift to my somewhat vegetative state was his face.

I thought I had really died. He looked like an angle, no, a god. Even with the look of sadness mixed with worry on his face.

But I knew I was alive. The blood was pounding in my head and I never felt the crunching of my bones which I was almost looking forward too.

He took me away from the cliff, much to my dismay. Not too far away were some trees where he set me down so my back could lean up against it. My legs were sprawled out and felt like jelly.

Even if he looked like a god; I still hated him. He took what I most wanted out of life; death.

I should have been dead; blood pouring from torn flesh and water dragging my body to and fro. I should have been in the darkness that is the afterlife. Dead; that's what I should be.

But instead of gathering my strength and running to the cliff so I could jump once more or yell at the top of my lungs at the man I considered a monster; I did the last thing I thought I would ever do. I cried.

_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*__*_*_*_*__*_*_*_*_*_*__*_*__*_*_*__*

EPOV

I watched as the woman I saved from death broke into strangled sobs before me.

I was expecting to be yelled at or for her to try and escape. I was ready for almost everything. And the almost didn't include tears.

It hurt for me to see her cry. I acted on impulse to save her. It was almost as if I couldn't help myself. Her face was so blank it was almost as if I was watching a horror movie. She couldn't have possibly wanted to die. I just couldn't wrap my mind around it. Why would such a beautiful person like herself want to die?

I watched as the tears pour down her face, leaving a trail of salt in their path. I once again acted on impulse and brought my arms once more around her body.

She was cold as ice and not so hard to tell it was from being out in the cold for so long. Even in winter it still got cold. She stiffened and relaxed in my arms and buried her face into my shirt.

I didn't know her. She didn't know me. Maybe that was why she was being so close to me without fear. Why she didn't cower.

Some people did. They knew about me and that I had sent a kid to the hospital over something I can't even remember. All I know was I needed control of my temper.

My family and I moved here about a year ago to start fresh. I needed away from my old life in order to overcome my anger. I needed space to straighten my life out before it was too late.

My father Carlisle and my mother Esme along with my brother Emmett all took a dive for me and left their lives. Now in this small town of Forks we live like wall flowers. We don't talk to anyone, they don't talk to us. It was quite simple.

I just thought it was just another morning where I was going to go on another run. It took me by surprise first to see her standing at the edge. I just thought she was watching the sunrise. I didn't take it as much; until I saw her face. It was blank. Even more so than a fresh sheet of computer paper. I knew something was wrong.

I was going to pass it off but I saw her legs bend and it clicked; she was committing suicide.

I sprinted for her and as she leapt I grabbed her by the waist, making sure my footing was stable and I wouldn't follow her over the edge. I pulled her back and saved her. Or so I thought.

Her sobs still came even though a large sum of time had passed. I took my hand and rubbed circles into her back. Her life must be terrible. Suicide was a last resort.

I wanted to help her so badly. I wanted to take the pain away.

But does she even want help?

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	3. Here

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_I wanted to help her so badly. I wanted to take the pain away. _

_But does she even want help?_

BPOV

Tears had seemed to flow from my face without a sign of stopping. I had bottled so much of my emotions that they were only coming out now. It bothered me how much emotion I had to let out. I never was very expressive. A month of nothing left me a lot of tears to shed.

After what seemed like hours passed I was able to stop the gush of tears and take a real gulp of air. I was now in a clear minded state. I took in the events of the past couple hours.

I had walked my way in the middle of the night to La Push to jump off the edge of the cliff at its highest point. I was planning to die and spare others pain as well as me. Then a bronze haired man pulled me in mid leap. Now I had just finished crying into his chest for only the lord knows how long.

I pulled back enough from the man to see the cliff. It was only twenty or so good strides away. I could probably make it. But now my time is gone. From the position of the sun I could tell it was around ten in the morning. My chance was gone; poof. I found it funny how only five seconds could change so much.

I pulled back further to see the face of the man I felt so much hate and shame towards.

It was easy to see now the scars along his face. It looked like he had a rough life. But none of it seemed recent. His hair was falling into his eyes which seemed to be a worn green color. Almost like cat barf that had a good polishing.

He gave me a weak smile but I couldn't return it. Now that the tears stopped, no more emotion flowed. He seemed to grow uncomfortable with the silence so I backed up.

"I'm Edward," he said in a low wispy voice.

"Bella," I said, trying not to be cold towards him.

He got fidgety and started to twiddle his thumbs.

"Why did you save me?" I asked, adding a little sigh to the end to make it clear that living was not what I desired.

"I couldn't help myself. I didn't think it was possible for someone that is as pretty as you are to want to end her life," he said, gaining some confidence and holding his head up.

"And what does looks have to do with suicide?" I asked a little annoyed. I knew it would have been polite to say thank you but I didn't feel like lying. I just wanted to shed my façade.

"It has nothing to do with it. I just couldn't believe that anyone could want to jump from a cliff. Life sucks sometimes but it gets better. All you need is a little time," he said as if lost in a day dream.

"My life isn't getting any better than my death," I said.

He looked stunned for a few moments before he turned away to compose himself. Upon turning back he had a cooperative expression.

"What could possibly be worse than death?" he asked a bit dumbfounded.

I looked away to the ground where the roots of the tree were poking up from the soil.

"Why should I tell you?" I asked, dropping all malice from my voice.

"I… I… I… I don't know. You shouldn't. I'm sorry," he said and begun to stand.

"No!" I shouted while reaching out and clasping his hand. It was warm and soft, very different than I would have thought. "My mom doesn't want and my dad can barely stand to look at me. I lost one friend to a rumor and the other because I didn't see him as more than a friend."

I sat their pleading for him to sit. I couldn't go back home yet; I just wasn't ready. I didn't want to be alone.

He took a hesitant step towards me and looked at me with sorrow and pity. It wasn't my favorite look from a person but it was better than being avoided. He sat down next to me; our hands still linked and gave me a weak smile.

"I know this is weird and you don't want to be around a psycho but will you stay here, at least for a little while?" I asked, looking to his face with a beseeching expression.

"Yeah," he said softly and made no other moves towards conversation. The silence wasn't awkward but it wasn't the most comfortable.

"Tell me something about you?" I asked.

He looked at me and stared for a moment. I was truly starting to wonder what he thought of me. It was becoming a bit weird at how he looked at me.

"I moved here from Chicago a year ago and have been here ever since. I live with my parents and my brother Emmett. I'm not a very exciting person," he admitted with a shrug.

I found myself growing to the sound of his voice. It was soothing and I missed it. I also missed the warmth of his chest and how he rubbed circles in my back as I cried. He was very selfless and it only made me want to be closer to him; to know him.

"Do you like to read?" I found myself blurting out before I could do anything to stop it.

He chuckled softly and said, "Yes. Just the classics though."

I smile meekly; the first positive emotion I had self in so long.

"Same here. I could just read them over and over. From dawn till dusk," I cringed at how poetic I was sounding. It seems quite obvious to me that I was still in a depressed state.

"Edward," I asked, letting his name roll off my tongue.

"Bella," he replied sweetly.

"Will you hold me?" I asked, a blush rising to my cheeks.

"Yes," he said opening his arms for me.

I walked over and sat in his lap and let his arms lock securely around me. I felt like I actually was wanted by someone to live. Suicide didn't feel right in Edwards's arms. But how long will it last?

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	4. TickTock

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_I walked over and sat in his lap and let his arms lock securely around me. I felt like I actually was wanted by someone to live. Suicide didn't feel right in Edwards's arms. But how long will it last? _

BPOV

I sat content in his arms with my head on his shoulder. His arms were still tightly around me and rubbing circles into my back. The air was getting to a warm state and the sun was directly above us.

After a few minutes I pulled away and looked at Edward. He looked relieved but kind of neutral.

"Thank you," I whispered and pulled away.

"Don't go," he said, pulling me closer.

I was confused by his words. _Why would he want me to stay?_ I asked myself too many times to count. Being as I am, I complied. His moved his arms from around my waist to snake down my arms. His hands finally came to rest on mine and he smiled.

"Would you like to come with me?" he asked in a nervous tone. His eyes were on me and his hands squeezed min gently.

"I… I… I… don't know," I said, taken aback by his words. They were the last things I ever predicted to come out of anyone's mouth, directed towards me.

"Please, I don't want you to go back home. Let me help you. We can get some help and make life better for you," he said.

The word help repeated itself over and over in my mind. My brain was telling me to run; to get away from him. Help would only make things more stressful on the ones I love and me. My carelessness of who was around me caused another person to be dragged into the black hole that is my life. Under no circumstances would I get help.

"No help," was what I so brilliantly squeaked out. And it came with a blush.

"Okay," he said quickly before I could do much else. "But will you please come with me? Just for a little while."

I thought about it for a minute. I didn't want to go home and my chance at suicide was royally blown. If he wanted me to go with him it couldn't be that tragic of a choice.

"Sure," I whispered. The word sure could get anybody out of any type of trouble. It was like a magical word.

Edward's face instantly brightened. In a swift motion he stood up and pulled me to my feet. Holding my tightly he lead me back from the way he came. A grin was painted onto his face and his pace was fast.

If it weren't for his hand holding mine so securely I would have made quite a few nasty face plants.

By then people were rushing this way and that with either dogs or children by their side. That day being a Saturday there were many people swarming around. As we moved at an alarming rate many took long looks at us. Their faces were mostly set in confused and disapproving looks. But it was understandable. I was stumbling along with big red puffy eyes and Edward had a slight grin on his face.

After what seemed like miles of walking but couldn't have been more than two hundred meters we came to the beaches parking lot.

I noticed the sun was much brighter when not under the protection of the trees. It was quite easy to tell why so many people wanted to be outside today.

The sun shone on Edward making him appear to glow. His hair looked like bronze before it cooled after being liquefied. The light also made his white shirt transparent.

When I quickened my pace to fall in step beside him I could see how muscular he really was. Every part of him that was visible to my eyes was sculpted and toned. Despite myself I couldn't seem to look away. In the sun there was no way he could not look god like.

My Edward filled thoughts quickly dispersed when he stopped in front of a shiny silver Volvo. He already had his keys in his hands and the passenger side door open. He signaled me with his arm to get into the car and I silently obliged.

The car's leather seats were warm from the sun. Even with the wind shield un tinted the car was extraordinarily dark.

Edward reached over my lap and buckled the seatbelt in.

"You okay?" he said, immediately wincing at the choice of words.

We both knew I was not okay. Suicide was an immense way of saying that I was not in any way 'okay'. I didn't think I would ever be either. I felt broken; absolutely shattered.

"I'm situated. Thank you," I told him with a halfhearted smile.

He removed his hand from mine and I immediately missed it. _Why did he affect me so?_ It was strange for me to have physical contact with anyone; let alone want more.

I watched him as he softly clicked the passenger side door closed and walked around the car. His abs were easy to see with the transparency of his shirt and the sun seemed to make him glow. The more I watched him and how he moved and his expressions the more I realized how perfect he was. I didn't feel as if I hated him. I felt like I was growing a fondness toward him; being grateful that he saved me.

He moved around the car and opened the door. After he was inside of the vehicle he put the key into the ignition and started the Volvo. The radio immediately turned on the sounds of classical music filled the space. It was Clair de Lune by Debussy. I to say the least was royally shocked.

"You… and… Debussy?" I asked.

"I like the classics," he said with a shrug. "What about you?"

He angled his body in my direction and looked at me intently. His eyes looked more of a radioactive green goo in the darkness of the car. He nodded his head to let give me the hint to continue. I didn't realize I was ogling. I flushed a light pink and looked away.

"I like the classics too," I stated father lamely.

He gave me a sweet smile before turning his full attention back to the road. I looked out the window and noticed how fast he was going. _Was he trying to get us killed?_

I laugh at that one. I didn't guess I really cared if I died or not.

It had surprised me when Edward headed for the more forested part of Forks. It was the kind of area where the higher income families lived. It also seemed like a very secluded place. I really needed to be away from people. Edward took a turn onto a long driveway and before I knew it we came to a stop in front of what I gathered to be his house. From the outside it was quite easy to see that it was a rather old building. Paint was chipping off the shutters and some wood planks were missing from the porches roof.

Edward got out and came over to my side, opened the door, and helped me out. The sun hit me like a ton of bricks. The sun was brighter than I ever thought possible.

Using Edward's hand to steady myself, I stood up straight and looked at him. He nodded and moved toward the house with our hands still linked.

At the door he paused and looked at me.

"Are you ready?" he asked in a whisper.

I was a bit afraid but nodded my head and closed my eyes tightly.

**That was a little bit of a cliff hanger for you.**

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	5. Thinning Fog

**Whooo! Chapter 5! Thanks for all the great reviews. **

**And ****Drowning In Shallow Water-****,**

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"_Are you ready?" he asked in a whisper. _

_I was a bit afraid but nodded my head and closed my eyes tightly. _

BPOV

I opened my eyes to see a home fit for royalty. It was a huge turnaround from what the outside looked like. The floors were a deep hardwood and the walls were light beige.

"You like?" Edward asked beside me. "And it looks even better when you're all the way inside."

I blushed slightly and took a step into the home. And much to my annoyance he was right; the home looked ten times better when you were inside it.

"Wow," I gasped quietly. My eyes were wide and looking across the living room.

Edward chuckled behind me.

"So what do you think?" he asked in a whisper, his lips just barely touching the top of my ear.

I suppressed a shiver and replied, "It's very lovely."

He moved swiftly around me and to the couch. He sat down and patted the open space beside him, beckoning me to sit by him. I was a bit hesitant like I usually was but complied wordlessly, leaning my head back as soon as I was comfortable on the soft cushion. I could smell his sweet smell next to me. Oddly enough it calmed me and gave me a sense of welcoming.

"I live here with my father Carlisle, my mother Esme, and my brother Emmett," he said, breaking the silence. "We moved here from Alaska a year ago."

All I could do was nod. He had a faraway look on his face even though his eyes seemed trained on the coffee table.

"I don't want you to be afraid of me," he confessed, turning the full power of his gaze to me. "I don't want you to hate me."

My mind was as blank as a fresh sheet of paper. I had no clue how to respond to that. And so, I just nodded my head once more.

He seemed to gather my situation and continued, "I've always had issues with my temper. I got into a fight back in Alaska with a guy named James. I broke his left arm and a few of his ribs."

He stopped due to a small gasp that escaped my lips. His worried eyes were searching over my face, trying to see if he should stop or continue.

"I'm sorry," I said quickly. "Please continue."

"He was sent in an ambulance to the hospital in critical condition. He went into a coma shortly after arriving. It was all the much worse because he was anemic. The blood just wouldn't stop. I never meant to hurt him so badly. He just got under my skin with all his snide comments. He lived and made it without and brain damage but we still thought it was best to move away. My father quit his job at the hospital and my brother broke up with his fiancée, Rosalie, so we could pick up and leave," he finished. His face was full of anguish.

"I'm so sorry," I said again, glancing down at my feet. I was confused as why he was telling me all this stuff about him.

"My dad likes to shoot me disapproving looks whenever he can and my mother keeps a distance from me like at any minute I will lash out and hurt her. But most of all I've lost the relationship with my brother, Emmett. He wouldn't speak to me for the longest time. He was and most likely still is in complete love with Rosalie. He still looks at me as if I meant to destroy his life. Even if he does talk to me it's still not the same."

I didn't exactly realize what I had done until I had actually done it. I closed the distance between Edward and I and pulled him into a hug. I didn't' want him to be in pain. It just wasn't right that he was going through the problems that he was.

My arms were around his waist and held tightly. He seemed to stiffen for a moment only to relax and hug me back. After a second of awkward hugging he scooted forward in his chair and hugged me properly. It felt like we clicked together almost like puzzle pieces. His arms felt nice encircling me and my head fit comfortably into his broad chest. I knew it was only a hug, but it felt like so much more.

It ended all too quickly when he pulled away. I expected his face to be somber but it surprisingly wasn't. When I saw his face there was a large smile on it and his eyes seemed brighter. His sudden mood change left me with a bit of a grin myself.

I also expected it to be awkward but I was once again wrong. Not that I had anything against being wrong about that. He seized my hand and pulled us both up. We were both just barely standing before he started dragging me back toward the front door.

"I want to show you my home," he said, his voice full of poorly contained excitement.

And it immediately put a damper on my mood. I just couldn't switch myself into happy mode. How could he have so much happiness in him after he told such a heart wrenching story? He was very different than I.

"So the room we were just in was the living room," he informed me, putting back on his calm and collected stature. He was quite oblivious to the face that I was having my own silent battle inside myself.

And around here is the kitchen…" he continued talking but I couldn't focus on his words. The depression I was feeling was weighting heavy on me once again. The pressure of dread was building up in me; ready to explode.

I just wanted to take one of the glistening knives and sink it deep into my wrists. I wanted to watch the red blood ooze from the incisions and the pain to sizzle and eventually paralyze me. And before I would pass out from blood loss I wanted to wield the bloody knife again and wedge it into my chest. I had wanted the tip of the sharp knife to penetrate my flesh and meat and slice a hole in my heart. I wanted to be left on the floor, gasping for air and raking at my chest with my fingernails. And after what could only last around a minute I wanted to pass out on the stained floor of some strange but beautiful person's kitchen, blood bubbling from my mouth and my eyes…

"Bella; Bella? Bella!" Edward's concerned voice sliced through my thoughts (no pun intended).

"Yeah?" I asked somewhat hesitantly.

"Are you… um…" he trailed off, thinking of a good word to use.

"Yeah," I said, trying to dispel the awkwardness, nodding my head out of habit. He gave me a sympathetic smile before continuing on.

In no time the tour of the first floor was finished and we had made it to the bottom of the stairwell. It seemed to stretch on all the way to Mount Olympus. And I wasn't sure with my clumsy tendency if I would have made it up there.

But this time he noticed my reaction and said, "I'll always be there to catch you when you fall."

**That was 3 pages on a word document. And I am fairly sure my chapters will get longer; and a bit fluffier. I promise things will heat up in the next chapter. But I never told you that. I do have a bit of a cold and it is slowing me down so you might have to bear with me. I promise to update when I can, but only if you review!**

**Tell me what you think!**

**)Nightmare(**

**P.S. I want you all to look at one of my friends stories. Her username is ****unknown men****.**

**She has 4 very wild and different stories (Disguise, My Little Birdie, Eclipsed Differences, and Catastrophe (all of which are rated M)) that are very different from each other and fun to read. So check it out! **


	6. Mountainous Climb

**Sorry it took me so long to update. Things have been a bit wild and I haven't felt like typing. **

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_But this time he noticed my reaction and said, "I'll always be there to catch you when you fall."_

BPOV

I didn't fall at all on the way up. I did stumble a few times but Edward did a mighty fine job at keeping his promise.

When he placed his hands on my hips I was a bit freaked out. Soon I realized that his hands were to ensure my safety. That thought filled me with unwelcomed and unexpected warmth. He was a perfect gentleman.

When we reached the top of the stairs his hands lingered on my hips for a moment before they let go. Without his hands I felt like I was weightless. That I would just float away; disappear into nothing.

He moved a step forward so he was next to me and offered his hand. For the tiniest millisecond he looked nervous but as fast as it presented itself, it was gone. I smiled submissively and grasped his hand gingerly. And to reassure him I gave his hand a small squeeze.

He grinned at me and continued the tour of his massive house.

"Down here," he started, pointing down the left side of the hallway. "My parent's room is straight down the hall and Emmett's room is to the right of theirs. This room," he said, pointing now to the door in front of us, "is Carlisle's study. The guest bathroom is the door next to it and the guest bedroom is the door directly across the hall from it. And here," he said, walking a few steps and touching a door that looked the same at the others, "In here is another set of stairs that lead to the third level where my room is," he concluded and headed for the stairway that lead back downstairs.

"Wait," I said rather loudly and pulled him back to me. "I don't get to see your room?"

I saw the corners of his mouth twitch but no real smile appeared. It both angered me and made my heart race double time. I realized that he mentioned the stairs to his room so I would ask about it. But he was also giving me a choice. I was the one calling the shots. He wasn't pushing me closer to the edge like everyone else was.

I felt him squeeze my hand so I turned my gaze, which had traveled to the floor, back to him.

"We can go back downstairs if you would like," he said, nodding towards the steps.

"No, no. I'm fine. I want to see your room," which wasn't a lie. I did want to see his room, I was just a bit conflicted.

"Only if you want to," he said seriously, his voice a bit husky.

"Will you quite with that," I said with an exasperated sigh. "I want to see your room. Now quit playing your stupid games."

He smiled and rubbed his thumb along the back of my hand in a steady rhythm. I rolled my eyes but let a faint smile onto my face. In a very short time I became impatient and tugged on his arm to give him the hint.

He released my hand and place his on my hips like before. I had to suppress a shiver that wanted to creep its way up my spine from the electric feeling of his touch.

"You ready?" he whispered sexily in my ear.

I nodded and started up the first few steps. I would have been a much shorter trip if I was focusing on the inclining ground instead of the hands of a god on my hips. It actually made me want to trip more; to feel his strong arms wrap around my waist protectively, holding me to his body. The thought caused me to trip once more and his arms hold me. Since he couldn't see my face I allowed myself to smile.

"This clearly isn't working, can I just carry you?" he asked, breathing into my ear.

The amazing scent of him washed over me and left me verbally stunned so I nodded, mind in a daze.

He dropped one of his hands to the back of my knees and the other one went to the middle of my back. He lifted me up swiftly and took the stairs carefully. I wrapped my arms lightly around his neck and rested my chin on his shoulder. He cradled me close to his chest and I absentmindedly played with a little of his hair. It was soft but thick and strong; much like Edward himself.

We reached the peak of the stairs but he still didn't put me down. Instead he walked down a short hallway to the only bedroom on the third floor. He shifted me so I was held fast between the wall and his body.

Inside the room he set me down gently and held my hips in his grip until he was sure I would not fall. I found it more irritating and degrading than I did sweet.

"Welcome to my room," he said, sounding bored.

The room was standard sized and was filled by a large white bed that had a black headboard, a black couch, and two dressers. On the wider one of the two dressers sat a series of filled compact disk racks. All of the CDs were straight and tight, cozy in its place.

"Very… beautiful," It came out weak and sounded more like a question.

He sat on the edge of the couch and peered up at me. He had a nervous glint in his eyes.

"Will you tell me why you wanted to… uh… yeah," he said, struggling for works. And then he added quickly, "and not just the short answers."

I really would rather not, I thought about saying. I'd rather be back in the kitchen were my death was so near. My thoughts were wild. But instead of saying my witty remarks I sat next to Edward, my eyes trained on the lines of the wood floor.

"My mom always looked after me after my parents got divorced. About two years ago she met a man named Phil and from then on he became her life. I remember on night about a year ago when I passed their bedroom Renee was telling Phil how she couldn't travel because of me. All I've ever wanted is for her to be happy. And that was when I made the arrangements to live with Charlie. He said that he would be happy to see me, but in truth it broke him. Every time I passed him or even said hello I reminded him of my mother and brought him pain.

"Around the time I realized his agony I befriended Alice. She is very different that I am but we still became the best of friends. Lauren was a girl at school that had a huge crush on Jasper and when she found out that they were dating she decided to start a rumor that I was sneaking around with Jasper. The rumor didn't bother me but Alice's reaction did. She had believed Lauren and not me. It hurt me so badly and all I could do was shut her out," my mind was going a million miles an hour and my eyes started to tear up.

"Because of Charlie I spent most of my time down on the beach at La Push. It was around noon on a Sunday when I met Jake. He was younger than I was but we started to talk and hang out. It was easy to forget my problems when I was around him; just to let go and have a good time. But it ended a few months later when Jake told me he didn't like me as a friend; that he loved me. I didn't and still don't like him anymore than as a friend," I paused to take a deep breath, my eyes still on the floor.

"When I told him that I didn't like him like that he became angry. I didn't think he would become violent but he did; throwing tools every which way. He only stopped when a wrench hit my arm and I screamed out. I ran in fear and haven't talked to him since. I spent the next two weeks in my room, living in silence. I convinced myself that no one really cared much about me. It wouldn't matter if I died. It would only have positive outcomes. What could be better than no pain?" she asked rhetorically.

Edward was quiet and still for a few tense moments. My hands were folded in my lap and my teary vision was on the floor still. I didn't know what else to say. And it didn't help that he wasn't saying anything. _He probably thinks you're crazy. He's probably thinking of a way to get you out of his house without hurting your feelings. _I told myself.

"Don't cry. I promise everything will be okay," he whispered into my hair, wrapping his arms securely around me and hugging me to him. I burrowed my face into his chest and let my tears soak his shirt.

"Please don't leave. Stay here," he said a little bit louder this time.

It took longer than normal for me to stop crying. I didn't even want to think about how long it would take my face to turn back to its normal pale color. He lessened his grip and I looked up to see his face. He was even better looking than the mental image I had of him. His green eyes dazzled me for a moment and I found myself nodding. He gave me a smile and hugged me close once again.

"Thank you," I whispered back, feeling safe in his arms. "Thank you so much."

**Was it okay? I know it's cheesy. And it will get more intimate. Just wait.**

**Please review. I'll update as soon as I have it typed. **

**)Nightmare(**


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